


5 Times Thor Felt Guilty for Wanking On His Brother and 1 Time He Did Not

by Nikolaus_Chaser



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bottom Thor, Canon Divergence - Pre-Thor (2011), Consensual Somnophilia, Dubious Consent, Guilt, Guilty Thor (Marvel), M/M, Manipulative Loki (Marvel), Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sibling Incest, Unrequited Love, Wet & Messy, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-02 10:57:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16785592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikolaus_Chaser/pseuds/Nikolaus_Chaser
Summary: Thor should have learned long ago that most situations that involved his brother would cause problems for him.  But Thor was a callow and guileless young man at his best, prurient and self-indulgent at his worst, especially when it came to matters concerning his baby brother Loki.Or; Thor is feeling like he is in a bit over his head when it comes to his brother, Loki.Written for @wisterings as a part of the 2018 Thorki Gift Exchange





	1. It Begins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wistering](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistering/gifts).



Thor should have learned long ago that most situations that involved his brother would cause problems for him. But Thor was a callow and guileless young man at his best, prurient and self-indulgent at his worst, especially when it came to matters concerning his baby brother Loki.

It was a perfect spring day. The sky was blue and cloudless, great shafts of sunlight reflecting the golden wheat fields and glittering lakes that made up the landscape of Asgard’s expansive capital. Children played in the courtyards, women took their weaving and masonry work outside to enjoy the pleasant weather. Thor took one breath of the dewy fresh air and knew he wanted to go riding with his brother.

“Loki!” Thor bellowed, his entire self brimming with excitement for the day. Thor always became most joyful during the fertile springtime; his being remained as affected by the climate as the climate was affected by him. “The weather is so fine today! Put your studies aside and come horseback riding with me.”

“Thor, you are sweating on my books,” Loki sniped back without even bothering to look up from his book. Thor sat beside his brother on his cushion and peered over his shoulder.

“What are you reading?”

Loki made a sigh and dropped his book into his lap. “With you breathing down my neck like this, there is little reading being done. But it is the  _ Völva Stav  _ _ Manuell _ .”

“I did not know you to be a seer, dear brother,” Thor said with interest. Loki stood up. He stretched out his lithe body, joints popping as he sprawled. He yawned dramatically and smacked his plump lips together. Thor’s eyes tracked his movements covetously. As ever, his brother executed himself with the most magnetic and captivating air, to which Thor was helpless to fall prey.

“I am not. But Mother has said that if I am religious in my studies, the  Oracle of Kattegat may take me as his pupil in the summer.”

“You are leaving in the summer?” Thor frowned. Loki smiled at his brother, and reached out to pat his large bicep in a solicitous gesture. Thor felt his touch like a brand on his arm, and a warm feeling spread in his chest as Loki did not pull his hand away but rather left it on Thor’s arm as they walked together. ‘This way,’ Thor thought, ‘we look like two lovers courting each other for a stroll.’ He attempted to vanquish the thought from his mind as soon as it occurred to him, his cheeks glowing red with phantom shame.

“It will only be a few short weeks. You probably won’t even notice I am gone,” Loki answered, peering at Thor curiously. “Brother, are you quite alright? You look very feverish all of a sudden.”

Thor drew in a short breath. Norns curse his pale complexion and depraved thoughts about his brother! He quickly supplied, “It is only being inside for so long that is ailing me. Join me for a ride in the sunshine, brother. I know how you so love spending time with the horses.”

It was now Loki’s turn for his cheeks to color, though he agreed with a nod. “Sure, Thor. I would love to ride with you. Below the crupper, brother?”

Thor sputtered and nearly choked on his own tongue. Loki smirked, flashed a sly wink at Thor, and sauntered down the hallway ahead of him.

(Author’s Note: The "crupper" is a piece of horse riding kit that keeps the horse's tail erect. So this medieval phrase means anal sex, or at least doing it from behind.)


	2. Loki’s Wet and Messy Plan

The next morning Thor woke with the startling image of his brother’s pert ass bouncing upon the saddle of a large black stallion, and a persistent hard-on in his pants demanding his immediate attention. The easiest thing for him to do was rut against the sheets until he came, muffling his groans into his pillow as he emptied his balls messily into his fist. He could barely restrain himself from screaming his brother’s name as he reached his climax. He bit down on his tongue so hard to stifle the noise that his mouth filled with the brackish taste of his own blood.

Thor punished himself as he climbed out of bed, clutching his wet and messy trousers close against his now softening cock. He was astounded by the extent of his own depravity. What kind of monster could fantasize about their own brother so carnally? Loki was his baby brother. He should not be picturing how he might look naked, with his long hair and sleek muscles and tight,  _ tight ass _ , bouncing up and down luxuriously on Thor’s enormous prick— 

‘Stop that,’ he thought at once, and began to think of some more virtuous thoughts. ‘Bilgesnipes. Fandral’s hair care routine. Polishing armor. Mjolnir.’

(Author’s Note: at this point in his young life, Thor had not yet considered the more salacious uses for Mjolnir’s handle… an oversight which Loki would surely remedy in the future.)

Thor collected his things and walked down to the palace bathhouse. A frigid bath would do Thor a world of good right now. He entered the bathhouse, which was gloriously empty this morning, and stripped naked. He entered the pool with a splash, submerging his entire body and spending a good amount of time beneath the water to scrub at his face. When he again came up to the surface for air, he was startled by the astonishing image of who else but his little brother. Loki was standing before the bathing pool, completely naked and smiling gaily at Thor.

“Brother! It is so good to see you,” Loki said as he slid into the pool, wading guilelessly towards Thor. He shivered, though not from the cold. Of course Loki took notice and he said, “Why are  _ you _ bathing in the cold pool? You hate the ice baths.” 

Loki floated on his back, hands stretched straight out from his body like a beautiful, naked starfish. Thor’s eyes wandered away from Loki’s face and towards his waist, where his long and muscular legs were proudly displayed, down to his flaccid cock poked from between his thighs. Thor swallowed down his lust, prayed that the Norns will away his growing erection, and answered his brother.

“I was feeling overhot today. You know, the weather is beginning to turn,” he said. Loki nodded in agreement.

“Oh yes, certainly. It is so inconvenient. You know as well as anyone how I suffer in this season. Did you know I have had to sleep nude every night this week just to bear the heat?” Loki sighed, tutting softly in sympathy for his own dilemma. And such a dilemma it was! Thor could barely contain himself at the mental image.

“I did not know that, Loki,” he said, impressing himself with how even he was able to keep his voice steady as he answered his brother. Loki sighed.

“Of course not. No doubt, you slept as soundly as a babe last night,” Loki said, tossing a sly glance in his brother’s direction. “You have absolutely no idea how gross it is, waking up every morning covered in sweat, all _wet_ and _sticky_ with the sheets clinging to my body.”

Thor blew out a gust of air from his nose and nodded. He paddled subtly towards the edge of the pool, away from his brother Loki who suddenly seemed so much closer than before. Loki’s fingers were almost brushing Thor’s chest, they were so close! Thor worried that he may have unconsciously swam closer to his brother, as surely Loki was not responsible for their sudden closeness. As he made work to put some appropriate distance between them, he was startled by a sudden splash as Loki turned over and dove underneath the water. When he reemerged he was glistening with clear rivulets of bath water, his long black hair pulled away from his face and curling at his shoulders. He looked curiously at Thor, frowning slightly.

“Are you going so soon? You haven’t even washed your hair.”

“I need to… I need—” Thor coughed, clambered out of the pool and quickly reached for a towel to cover himself. “I left the hearth burning, I have to go!”

Loki watched his brother run from the room and he quietly chuckled to himself. He dipped his head into the cool water again and smirked around a mouthful of bubbles. Toying with Thor was only too easy… But if he really wanted his brother to act on his perversion, Loki knew he was going to have to significantly up the ante. It was a good thing that he already had a plan…


	3. Thor Blames his Dirty Dreams on Allergies

_ Thor’s hands fit around Loki’s hips, pressing finger-shaped bruises into the soft skin of his brother’s pelvis as he fucked into his tight ass. His brother was so small compared to him, his body so lithe and bendable. If Thor wanted to he could pick Loki up and fuck him against the wall, pin him down and take him wherever he pleased. _

_ The thought filled him with renewed lust and his cock pulsed inside of Loki’s ass. Loki thrashed and mewled beneath him, clung to the sheets so harshly that his fingernails tore at the fabric, moaned and cried and begged for Thor to fuck him harder. He pistoned his hips harder at his brother’s command and beneath him Loki begged for release, chanting Thor’s name like a mantra. _

_ “Thor, Thor, Thor!  _ Thor! _ ” _

Thor startled awake, sitting upright and looking blearily around his bedchamber. Early-dawn light was shining in through his bedroom windows and casting shafts of bright morning sunshine onto his face. He squinted, and at the foot of his bed he could make out his good friend Sif standing. 

He quickly reached out and tugged his blanket up to cover himself, cheeks burning with the thought that she might see his erection (or worse, that she might somehow know what lewd thoughts had brought him to such a state).

“Ah, Thor! It is good to see you are awake,” Sif said, ignoring Thor’s obstinate grumbling that he had not, in fact, been awake. “Fandral and the others have sent me to rouse you from your slumbers and bring you to the fields for a sparring match. The meteorlogs say this good weather will only last a few more days before the season turns to rain…”

“I am coming, I’m coming,” Thor grumbled, though he made no move to get out of bed. He could not bear the thought of his friend Sif seeing him in his current state. Yet Sif did not move from the foot of Thor’s bed! He let out a frustrated sigh.

“I need to get dressed, Sif.”

“Yes, of course! So sorry, Thor. I will wait for you in the hallway,” she said, and she turned and left. Thor watched her go, and the minute the door clicked shut behind her back he collapsed against his backboard with a heavy sigh. His erection was finally gone by now, though his lingering feelings of guilt remained. He could only hope that the great outdoors, and some hearty exercise might clear his mind from his perverse dreams.

Thor did what he knew best, and for the next several days he spent the majority of his time on the royal training grounds, sparring with his friends and fellow soldiers. It was good to get outside of the palace and take his mind off of this sudden perverted fixation with his brother. It was certainly much easier not to think about Loki when he was avoiding having his head smashed into the ground by Fandral. Thankfully his brother stayed away, never much of a fan of glima and sparring himself, and Thor was able to take out his frustrations through glorious battle.

A full week passed by after the incident with Loki in the bathhouse, and though Thor’s dreams persisted he had not seen his brother since, and he was feeling very good. He justified his strange feelings as a reaction to the fertile springtime; nothing more than a side effect of the warm weather and pollen in the air. He was sure that within a few weeks, his dreams would settle down, and all of his feelings about his brother would return to normal.

When Thor arrived to the training pits one morning, he was startled to find his brother already in the ring, armed with two small daggers and fighting against Volstagg. Loki rarely came to the training fields, and when he did he never liked to spar. Not in the dirt, with weapons and hand-to-hand combat, anyway. 

Thor watched with fervent interest and not a little bit of surprise as his brother parried, struck, received and returned blows with Volstagg. They sparred for a decent few minutes before Volstagg was finally forced to surrender, a dagger to his throat and Loki’s knee to his gut. Loki helped the big man up with a smile and a pat on the shoulder, and Volstagg grumbled good-naturedly his entire way back to the weapons store. Loki, meanwhile, simply dusted off his leathers and turned his expectant gaze towards his brother where Thor was standing at the edge of the pit. He swallowed hard and offered Loki a small smile, stepping forward to greet him.

“Brother, what a pleasant surprise to see you at the training grounds. I would have expected you to be holed up in the library reading that  _ Manuell  _ of yours.”

“Oh, I’ve given up on that pseudoscience,” Loki said with a flourish and a roll of his eyes. “What’s the point in trying to predict the future when you can get so much out of living in the moment?” There was a certain twinkle in his eye as he spoke that Thor could not place. It made his stomach flutter nervously. “Besides, three months to study prophecy is a very long time. I wouldn’t want to be away from Asgard for so very long. And you would probably flood the whole country in rain in my absence, which just would not do.”

Thor frowned. “Loki, if you are giving up your studies on my account then I assure you that you should not—”

“Fie,” Loki interrupted, “I’ve acted only in my own good interest, brother, believe me. Now are you ready to spar? Or shall we stand around and discuss the weather for a bit first?” Loki smirked, challenging Thor with a quirk of his eyebrow. A crackle of electricity sparked in the air between them, and Loki grinned. He tilted his head towards the training pit and hopped down into the dust. “Come on, brother. I know you want to.”

And now you will remember what I said much earlier in this epic tale, how Loki always tended to coax Thor into situations that did not serve him well.  But poor Thor, ever naive and pleasure-seeking, was helpless to resist the temptation of sparring with his little brother. It was so rare for Loki to come down to the training fields and offer himself up in physical competition to Thor. He hopped into the ring and sized Loki up, his lips curling upwards in amusement when Loki kicked up some dirt behind him, as though he were a Bilgesnipe preparing to charge.

“Are you ready?” Thor asked, flexing his shoulders and triceps. Loki smirked.

“Do not go easy on me, brother. I want it  _ rough _ .”

Thor’s stomach fluttered again as Loki’s words evoked the dissipated images he’d been dreaming of for the past few weeks. Thor was so distracted that he barely noticed Loki barreling towards him, and soon found himself slammed into the ground by the force of his brother’s body. Thor coughed harshly and jerked away from Loki, who was scrambling to wrap his arms around Thor’s neck and choke him.

“Loki, get —” Thor grunted, grabbing his brother around the hips and swinging him around. He tried to pin Loki to the floor, but his brother was faster, and he squirmed from Thor’s grip, landing right on top of him again. He wrapped his fingers around Thor’s throat and squeezed. “Lo—”

“What do you want me to do, brother?” Loki panted harshly. Thor could feel his breath ghosting his ear. “You want me to  _ get off _ ?” he asked. Thor’s vision swam a little, and while Thor tried to tell himself it was from oxygen deprivation he knew it was a lie. Norns help him! Loki’s hands around his throat should  _ not  _ have been turning him on. And yet there he was, lying in the dirt with his brother sitting in his lap and choking him half to death, and all he could think about was how fucking hard his cock was.

Thor reached out and grabbed his brother by the shoulders and with all of his strength he heaved Loki through the air. His brother landed in the dirt several feet away with a grunt. Thor stood up, dusted off his leathers and resumed a defensive position. When Loki stood up he raised his hand, wiping some blood from the corner of his lips. He smirked at his brother.

“Is that all you’ve got for me, Thor?” Loki teased. Thor pushed some loose strands of hair from his face and then lunged at his brother again. 

Loki danced around him with ease, laughing and taunting Thor with glee. Thor quickly tired of chasing his brother around their makeshift arena, and eventually he simply stopped, glaring at Loki from across the pit.

“Brother, if you are going to make me chase you around like a rabbit then I will surely go find somebody else to spar wi—  _ Agh!”  _

Thor fell onto his back at the force of the blow his brother delivered to his chest, and he was once against left wheezing on the floor as Loki clambered on top of him. And then, by the Norns, Loki was trying to choke him out  _ again _ ! Thor grunted and rolled them over, pressing his brother into the dirt.

“Enough of that,” he grunted, and he slammed his fist into Loki’s head. His brother yelped and rolled away, turned himself over and began to crawl away urgently. Thor reached out, grabbed hold of Loki’s hips and yanked him backwards. He pressed his elbow into his back, forcing Loki’s face into the dirt. He grunted and turned his head, spitting out dust and glaring at his brother over his shoulder.

“Thor!”

“What’s wrong, little brother? I thought you said you wanted it rough,” he laughed. Loki groaned and wiggled his hips, trying to break free. Thor was startled by the motion, which forced Loki’s ass to grind against his hips. His vision went white for a moment, all of his pent up feelings from the past few weeks rushing forward with a simple brush of skin. His cock pulsed in his pants, libido spiking faster than it had since he was a hormonal teenager, and he bit his lips hard to stifle a groan.

“Loki, stop—” Thor hissed, but his breath caught in his throat when Loki moved again, his ass pressed flush to his brother’s hips. Thor shivered and moaned, and in an instant he was coming! He filled his pants very suddenly with his own spend. He gasped and immediately let go of Loki, falling backwards into the dirt. Loki crowed in victory and jerked out of his grasp, turned around and then launched himself  _ right back on top of Thor _ . Thor was quaking underneath his brother as he reached for his neck again, poised to strangle.

“Loki, I yield! I yield,” he gasped. Loki smiled victoriously and rolled off him, reaching for his hand. Thor groaned and rolled over instead, planting his face in the dirt and letting out a massive sigh.

“Brother,” he huffed, “I need a moment.” And then, completely exhausted, Thor collapsed in the dirt and passed out.


	4. Loki Sleeps Hard

That night, Thor was restless and could not sleep. Norns, Loki did not know what he did to him! He was consumed with grief over his poor brother — the unwitting victim of his incestuous fantasies — and guilt for his own vile actions earlier that day. It was miserable lying there, replaying every second of the fight in his mind, every fleeting touch of skin, every cherished second of forbidden contact. Just the memory of Loki’s body pinned beneath his, writhing against his hips brought Thor to full hardness again. He cried as he jerked himself off, muffling his sobs into his pillow as he came across his bedspread in thick, creamy white globs.

He went to his private bathing chambers and washed himself off. Surprisingly, he found, he was still semi hard despite having just come a few moments ago and also having come at the training fields earlier in the day. Certainly, the changing weather was affecting him strongly. That combined with the pervasive images of Loki rubbing his butt against Thor’s hips earlier that day… And now he was fully hard once again. Curses.

Thor plunged his body into the cold pool and tried to think of anything else besides his brother. It was useless. Loki was, as always, at the center of his thoughts and fantasies. Now clean and in a much fouler mood than before, Thor climbed from the pool and dried himself off. Perhaps a midnight snack and a glass of warm goat’s milk would settle his mind.

He was on his way to the kitchens and passed by his brother’s bedroom. Loki normally kept the door to his rooms bolted shut, cloaked with all manner of wards to keep those who were unwanted out. This was not the case on this night; his door was unlocked, unusually cracked open to let a cool draft and inside. 

When he first noticed this, Thor kept on walking. But as he ventured further down the hallway, his steps slowed. His brother  _ never _ left his door open like that before. What if something was wrong? What if Loki needed his help?

Thor told himself as he slipped into the dark space of Loki’s bedroom that he was only checking to make sure that his baby brother was okay. Ever concerned for the wellbeing of others over his own, Thor was acting only out of altruism. He was being selfless! There could be some dark villain lurking within Loki’s rooms, and Thor was ready to go to great lengths to protect his brother. 

Thor’s fable crumbled the moment he stepped into his brother’s bedroom and let the door click shut behind him. There was nobody else in the room; Loki was safe. Loki was sleeping. Thor was still shirtless and dripping from his shower. He shivered, suddenly cold (how could his brother sleep without a hearth burning? He had never understood) and he thought how he should leave. Loki was clearly okay, and had only left his door open by mistake. It was wrong of Thor to spy on him in his sleep this way.

Instead of leaving, Thor crept closer. With every step the light fabric of his breeches brushed his cock, and his erection from earlier (which had never quite gone away) sprang back to life. Norns above, he could practically feel the blood rushing from his head and filling up his cock. He leaned over the bed and peered at Loki, and his heart skipped a beat.

Loki was so beautiful in his sleep. His plump lips were parted slightly around warm, shallow breaths. His bare chest rose and fell with gentle breaths. His nipples were hard and pebbled in the cold. How Thor longed to reach out and touch his brother, kiss his lips and suck at his nipples. Thor shivered and, in a moment of lust, reached out and touched his fingers to Loki’s lips. He let out a shaky sigh as he dragged his fingers over Loki’s skin, imagining what it would be like to kiss him. Norns, did he want to. His cock twitched inside of his pants, and he pulled his hand away from Loki’s lips to grab himself through the thin fabric.

Touching himself by Loki’s bedside as his brother soundly slept beside him was enthralling. Thor’s entire body quaked as he stroked himself, his cock heavy in his palm and full of blood. He was panting now, and he reached out with his free hand to touch his brother’s cheek. He pushed a strand of loose hair from his face and inched closer. He pulled his cock from his pants and let it rest against his brother’s plush lips, and he squeezed his cock, small droplets of precum smearing Loki’s lips and dripping into his open mouth.

The thought that in the morning his brother would wake and might taste Thor’s spend on his lips, and not know where it came from, intensified Thor’s lust. He muffled a groan and jerked his cock faster, practically humping his brother’s cheek. Poor Loki slept all the while, unaware of his brother at his bedside taking his pleasure on his body. Emboldened, Thor reached out and skimmed his fingers over Loki’s pebbled chest. He dragged his thumb over a nipple and Loki shifted in his sleep.

The absolute thrill of what he was doing struck Thor so suddenly, he felt like his chest might explode. He bit his lips to stifle any moans from escaping, the threat of waking his sleeping brother all too real, and he came in thick ropes across his brother’s pallid cheeks and plump, rosy lips. Something wicked came over him at the sight of his spend painting his little brother’s cheeks and he shook his cock against Loki’s cheek, making sure that not a single drop of come went unspent against his brother’s cheek. He collected the excess come from Loki’s face and slipped two fingers into his brother’s open mouth, swabbing his fingers against Loki’s wet tongue. He did this again and again until all of his spend was cleaned from Loki’s cheeks, and then he tucked himself into his pants with a sigh and stepped away.

He left his brother’s bedroom and carried on down the hallway, down to the kitchens to fetch that midnight snack he’d never had. Through the paned glass windows in the kitchen he could see the sun was already starting to rise. The whole night had slipped away from him in a frenzy of delinquent passion, the evidence of which was beginning to dry on the inside of Thor’s sleep pants. 

Thor adjusted himself with a sigh, and looked around the kitchen to see what food they had to offer for breakfast. In the pantry there was some leftover sweet bread and butter, and boiled goose eggs. Ah, Loki’s favorite. His brother would be awake soon, and Thor could think of no better way to greet his brother this morning than with some breakfast in bed.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

As Thor slipped from Loki’s bedroom and took care to shut the door behind himself as quietly as possible, Loki stirred. He pressed his face into his pillow to hide his wicked smile and reached below the covers to grasp the base of his own cock and give it a squeeze. With the taste of his brother’s spend on his lips and a light feeling in his chest, Loki brought himself off to the memory of Thor’s hands on his hips in the training fields earlier that day. Everything was going according to his plan. Soon, Thor would be his.


	5. Thor Punishes Himself

Thor’s conscience troubled him. Every time that he looked at his brother he was consumed by guilt with what he’d done to him. What thoughts had once brought him pleasure now inspired only shame and hatred for himself. How could he abuse him so? His little brother, the one he swore to protect from harm at all costs, was now the victim of his own perverse desires. His depraved actions. Thor shuddered at the memory of ejaculting across his brother’s face as he slept. It had felt  _ so good _ , and that was the very worst part. 

Loki was innocently unaware of what had happened. He treated Thor with the casual tenderness he always did, except now, Thor rejected his attention and affections. He did not deserve it! He deserved for Loki to denounce him, spurn him, hit him for what he had done to him. 

And yet Thor could not confess his sinful actions. Instead he sought to distance himself from his brother as much as possible. He spent long days at the training fields, even when it was raining and cold outside, to stay away from his brother. Even when Loki appeared at the training fields looking to spar, Thor made sure to avoid him and busy himself with other partners. He bathed early and took his meals alone in his chambers, or not at all. He talked as little as possible, especially in the company of his parents and his brother, afraid of what confessions might tumble from his lips.

The palace staff began to fear something was wrong with the crown prince. Frigga and Odin puzzled over what to do. Loki began to fear that he’d taken this little game too far for his brother to handle.

As the spring turned to summer and the rainy season faded, Thor decided to leave on a hunt for some weeks. He went alone, craving the solitude. Maybe if he were lucky, a Bilgesnipe would eat him in his sleep.

He returned from his hunt unscathed — and with the pelts of three Vargr wolves slung over his back. They would make for a good cloak for his mother, or a new set of furs for his bedroom. Perhaps a nice cape for his brother to drape his lithe body in— but no. Thor quickly dispelled any thoughts of Loki from his mind before they could turn perverse, and went to greet his parents in the throne room.

They celebrated his return with a small feast. His mother fussed over him and the wolf pelts, already dreaming up what items she could craft from such fine furs. Once he had imbibed enough ale to fuel his courage, Thor asked the question that had been on the tip of his tongue since his return.

“Where is Loki? I would give him a gift from my travels.”

“Oh Thor, your brother’s gone to study with the  Oracle of Kattegat for the summer. Didn’t he tell you before you left? Surely he would have shared this with you.”

Thor’s brow furrowed. He did remember Loki trying to tell him something on the day he left for his hunt. But Thor was so consumed with his guilt and pain that he hadn’t stopped to listen to what his brother was saying. He looked down at his lap, ashamed all over again.

“He must have… It just slipped my mind,” Thor took a deep breath and looked up at his mother again. She eyed him curiously, but he put on a good mask to hide his emotions from her. “Has he written? When shall he return?”

Frigga’s eyes lit up. “Oh yes, he’s been writing almost daily. I think I have his letter here,” she paused to fish around in the pocket of his dress, and after only a moment she produced a folded letter. She opened it carefully, “He says, ‘Master Kattegat says I am his most studious pupil, and predicts that my abilities may one day succeed his own on the condition that I remain fully devoted to the craft. He has requested that I stay through the winter to learn to chart the lines of Yggdrasil.’ Isn’t that wonderful, Thor? I am so proud of him. Aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Thor answered in a whisper. His spirits plummeted at his mother’s words. He had been looking forward to returning to his brother and resolving the rift that had grown between them in the past few months. He’d been so ready to try being a good older brother again. Now Loki was gone, and would not be returning until at least the winter. How was that fair?

“Oh, by the way, dear,” Frigga said,grabbing Thor’s attention, “Did you and Loki fight? He gave me a message to deliver to you before he left.”

Thor’s breath caught in his throat. “What did he say?”

“He said that he forgives you, and wants you to know that he loves you dearly.”

Thor’s breath caught in his throat. Surely Loki couldn’t know…? “Did he say what he was forgiving me for?” Thor asked. Frigga furrowed her brow.

“No, he refused to tell me. Did you two have words before he left?”

“Oh, yes, yes,” Thor quickly lied, and his cheeks colored. “I remember now. I was upset that he wanted to go study with the Oracle. We fought… I was wrong.”

“Thor! How could you try to prevent your brother from following his dreams? That is so terrible of you,” Frigga said. Thor frowned and looked down at his lap again, trying his best to feign guilt. It was not hard at all; he was well practiced in the feeling of shame. “At least he has forgiven you. Perhaps it is time for you to forgive yourself,” she said with a gentle smile. Thor swallowed hard. His mother carried on. “Perhaps you should write to him? He’s been asking after you in some of his letters.”

“He has?”

“Of course,” Frigga laughed. “He is your brother, dear. He loves you.”

Thor nodded. “Yes, yes. Of course. I’ll write him right away.” 

Thor did not write to Loki right away. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to his brother—of course he did, maybe too much—but he just didn’t know what to say. How could he put into words everything that he was feeling? How could he put into words what he had done?

So he kept putting it off, promising himself he would write on another day. And before he knew it, the winter was upon them and Loki was home.


	6. First Snowfall

On the day that Loki arrived in Asgard, they had their first snowfall. It wasn’t much; a few cold flurries dusted the ground and children scrambled in the courtyards to collect enough snow to build little snow-warriors and engage in snowball fights with their friends. Loki rode up to the palace with a small delegation of Einherjar in his wake, and their mother greeted him at the palace steps with a tearful exchange of hugs and kisses. Thor watched from his bedroom window, blood pounding in his ears.

He had put off contacting his brother for so long that he’d forgotten how terrible he still felt about what he’d done to him. And Loki _knew_. Loki knew what he had done, knew how depraved he was. Thor was terrified of what reaction Loki would have when they saw each other again.

 _If_ Loki even wanted to see him.

There was a feast to celebrate Loki’s return to Asgard. It would have been in bad taste for Thor to not attend, so that is how he found himself sitting in the Great Hall between Frigga and Loki as they chattered away about all of the Seidr techniques Loki had learned in the past few months. Thor tried to quietly excuse himself halfway through the meal, but he was stopped by the solid grasp of his brother’s fingers on his thigh.

“Thor, we haven’t even had dessert yet. And I haven’t seen you for so long. Please stay,” he said sweetly.

Thor swallowed hard and nodded, sitting down and reaching for his ale. 

Loki’s hand had not moved from his thigh. 

He tapped his long, thin fingers against his leg and Thor froze. What was Loki doing? His eyes widened and he looked to his brother curiously, but Loki simply smiled at him over the top of his mug. Thor’s skin prickled.

They drank well into the night. Loki’s hand never left Thor’s leg, but after a while it became a comfortable weight on his thigh, and Thor relaxed under his brother’s touch. The ale was certainly helpful as well. After dessert their mother and father retired, and slowly but surely the guests dwindled from the hall one by one. And then Thor and Loki were left alone again, for the first time since that fateful night six months ago.

There was silence. Loki’s hand slid up Thor’s thigh, grasping him just below his cock. Thor inhaled sharply and jerked in his brother’s hand.

“Loki, I—”

“Are you angry at me, brother?” Loki whispered, leaning close. Thor blinked at him in surprise. Those were certainly the last words he’d expected to hear from his brother’s lips.

“What? Loki, no. I— Aren’t you angry with me? What I did to you—”

“I know what you did to me,” Loki whispered, panting softly against his brother’s neck. He pressed his lips against Thor’s neck and dragged his tongue across his skin. “I knew all along.” 

Thor went stiff, staring wide-eyed at his brother. His mind was whirring at one-hundred miles per hour. If what Loki was saying was true, then that would mean…

Loki laughed, “Thor, you’ll sprain yourself if you think much harder. Come on, brother. Who did you think left the door open that night? Removed the wards that allowed you access to my chambers in the first place?”

“I didn’t think that—”

“No, you didn’t think at all,” Loki supplied, a wolfish grin spreading his lips. He moved closer to his brother, tugging at his earlobe with his teeth. Thor’s whole body quaked. “You simply acted like a beast in rut. I was tasting your spend on my lips for the rest of the week.” He moved again, shifting his palm against Thor’s groin. He was now directly stroking Thor’s cocl through his pants, and he began to grow hard. Thor let out a quiet sob.

“I’m so sorry, Loki.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Loki snapped. “Haven't you listened to me at all, brother? I _wanted_ it. I coaxed you into it. And I can see now that you were not ready for it. For that, I am sorry,” he sniffed. Thor stared at his brother in shock. Yet he did not draw away when Loki’s hand slid below his waistband, his deft fingers wrapped around Thor’s hardened cock and pulled. His breath hitched and Loki smiled. “Are you ready now?”

Thor nodded. He was ready. He was _so ready_. Loki chuckled and leaned closer, and for just a second he pressed the most gentle kiss upon Thor’s lips. Thor let out an audible sigh and his lips parted against Loki’s. A moment later and his own arms shot out, wrapping tightly around Loki;s body and holding his brother close. He crushed their mouths together and pushed his tongue inside, taking and taking everything his brother offered. Loki’s lips tasted like sweet wine and pasties; the last thing he’d eaten. Thor moaned and surged forward, pushing his brother backwards onto the table. The dishes clattered and the wooden table legs creaked.

“You are wicked,” Thor gasped against his brother’s lips. Loki smiled and wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck, his legs about his waist. He chuckled.

“Oh, Thor, so are you.”

“Mm,” Thor grunted and surged forward for another kiss, worrying his brother’s plump lips between his teeth like he’d wanted to for so long. Loki responded with equal, brilliant passion. Thor jerked his hips against Loki’s, pressing their groins together through their clothing. Against his own cock he could feel the hard line of his brother’s erection and he groaned, rutting against him. 

“Don’t spend in your pants again, brother.”

“You _knew_ about that?!” Thor roared, his face red as a beat. Loki chuckled and twisted in his brother’s arms, smirking up at him.

“Of course I did. I had hoped you might have better stamina than a three-hundred year old sprite, but I suppose my disappointment was my own fault for setting my expectations so high…”

Thor growled and pulled away from his brother, and for just a moment Loki worried that he’d taken his teasing too far. Surely Thor would not leave him with blue balls like this! He should not have worried, though, because a few moments later Thor wrapped his arms around Loki and hoisted him over his shoulder. Loki rolled his eyes at his brother’s typical brutality.

“What are you doing, Thor?”

“What I plan to do with you… it should not be done in the public dining room.”

Loki smirked, his libido spiking at the suggestion his brother posed. He’d been dreaming about this for months. Ever since that night six months ago he’d been working with blurry memories and his own imagination to sate his sexual appetites. ANd now, finally Thor was taking him back to his bedroom. Finally he was going to get the fucking from his big brother that he deserved.

Thor threw his brother on to the bed and quickly began to strip off his clothes. Loki watched from the center of the bed with interest, his eyes tracking every movement greedily. He let his armour clatter to the floor in his haste to be naked; first his vembrances, then his breastplate and pauldron. At last he allowed his cape to flutter to the ground, and then he stood before his brother fully nude, enjoying the heat of Loki’s eyes on his naked flesh.

“Your turn,” Thor said as he climbed onto the bed, his shoulders hunched as he bent to kiss his brother. Loki returned the kiss in kind and began to strip himself. Thor lay on his stomach in the center of the bed, watching. Norns, his brother was beautiful. Thor silently admired his slender muscles, the pronounced curve of his buttocks, his long cock hanging against his thigh and already shining with precum at the tip.

“We need oil.”

“Here,” Thor said, and he reached into the bureau beside his bed and pulled a small flask of oil from inside. It was halfway empty already. Loki’s eyebrows drew in surprise, and Thor handed the bottle over with a smirk. He subtly spread his legs at the knees and winked at his brother.

“Have I surprised you?”

“Not at all,” Loki drawled after a moment, and he climbed onto the bed behind Thor and gently spread his legs apart. His eyes flashed with greed and then he lowered his lips to Thor’s buttocks. He pulled his brother’s cheeks apart and flicked his tongue over the tight ring of muscle there. Thor released a quiet sigh and pressed his face into the sheets, tilting his hips backward and moaned like a beast when Loki dove in again, this time sucking Thor’s balls into his mouth and dragging his whole tongue over his asshole.

He slipped one oil-slick finger in beside his tongue, followed shortly by another. Thor squirmed at the tightness, pushing his hips backwards. His brother received him well and tended to his needs. Thor’s cock hung heavy between his legs, dripping precum onto the sheets below. Loki grasped his cock at the base and squeezed. Thor groaned and jerked against his brother’s hand.

“Loki, hurry up.”

“You are so desperate for me,” Loki said. He pulled his hand away from Thor’s cock and let it slap against the sheets, where it left a wet spot on the linens. He hoped it wouldn’t stain; it would be embarrassing to explain to the chambermaid how that nature of fluid had gotten onto his bedspread. Loki seemed to read his thoughts and helpfully supplied, “I’ll clean the sheets with my Seidr when we are done, Thor. Focus on me.” He punctuated with words with a harsh tug at Thor’s hair, and Thor was instantly brought to hell by his brother.

“Yes, brother,” he gasped. Loki smiled and pressed a kiss to the bow of Thor’s back, dragging his teeth across his skin. He moved between his legs, grasped his own long cock in his hand and then slow, slowly eased himself into Thor’s ass. Thor groaned loudly and collapsed against the sheets, his whole body shaking.

It felt wonderful. It felt like he was being reunited with a piece of himself that he’d never known he had lost. Even the majesty of Valhalla could not compare to this glory, surely. 

“Move,” Thor commanded, greedy as ever. He didn’t care that it was tight, or that it ached when his brother moved inside of him. He wanted more. Loki willingly obliged. The whole bed rocked under his brother’s thrusts, and together they climbed the peak towards climax. In, in, in, harder, longer, slower, Loki rutted against him like an animal in heat, his mouth all over Thor’s back, his teeth leaving dark impressions where he bent to taste his brother’s skin. Thor trembled and moaned, and then he came in thick spurts across the bedspread, his ass clenching around Loki’s hard cock as his brother continued to fuck him full.

Loki came inside of Thor with a sigh. He didn’t pull his cock out. Instead he simply lay across Thor’s sweat-drenched back and waited for his cock to soften, to slip out of his brother’s clenching ass along with globs of his own sticky cum. When it began to drip out, Loki would scoop it up and make his brother eat it. For now, he enjoyed the steady rhythm of his brother’s breathing as they lay together in their afterglow.

“Loki,” Thor whispered. Loki barely lifted his lips from the back of his brother’s neck to answer.

“Yes Thor?”

“Was this… what does this mean? What are we to each other now?”

Loki sighed, and with great effort he slid off of his brother’s back and onto his side. Thor turned, bracketing Loki to the bed with his strong arms. Loki’s hand came up to cup Thor’s cheek, his thumb tracing the bottom of his brother’s lip. Thor looked at him so earnestly, Loki knew he could not toy with his brother’s affections any longer.

“We are as we always have been. Brothers, in blood and in battle. I will always love you, Thor.”

“But… this?” Thor asked, squeezing Loki’s bare hip. His eyes flickered hopefully. “Aren’t we more now?” Loki smiled.

“Do you want more?”

“Yes,” Thor whispered urgently. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead forcefully against Loki’s. “I know that I shouldn’t, but I do. I desire you in every way.”

Loki’s heart was warmed by his brother’s words. He smiled and once again leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips. Thor received it willingly, his lips parting in awe at the tender action. As if they hadn’t just fucked like two wild animals five minutes ago. 

“Do you love me, brother?”

“In every way that I know how, yes.”

“Do I have your heart?”

“Aye.”

“And your undying fidelity?”

“There could be no other. I am willingly yours.”

“Hmm," was all Loki said. Thor sat up, looking at his brother in earnest.

“And are you mine?” he said.

Loki smiled. “Oh, brother,” he said with a chuckle. “I have always been. I have _always_ loved you.”

Thor beamed, his smile as bright as the sun. Loki laughed again, and then he grabbed Thor’s face with both hands and planted a forceful kiss on his lips. He wrapped his legs smoothly around Thor’s hips and, with all of his strength he flipped them so that he was straddling the top of his brother’s hips. He grinned down at Thor like a feral beast.

“Now, shall we go for round two?”

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Wisterings,
> 
> I want to start out by saying that I was super nervous going into this. You are like a SUPER FAMOUS thorki author! That being said, I wasn't too nervous because I have a lot of experience writing fanfic. I hope that you enjoyed this and that it fulfilled all your kinkspectations <3 I also hope you enjoyed my messages on tumblr! I think that was the funnest part, lol.
> 
> Merry Christmas! I hope that Santa leaves you some other wonderful presents, and that your season is merry and bright.
> 
> Love,  
> Niko
> 
> PS: to my general readers, i hope you enjoyed it as well! Please comment below and tell me what you enjoyed :)
> 
> And a BIG THANK YOU to @Lord-Huggington who proofread this piece and kind of saved my booty on a few major spelling/grammar issues.


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